Rhetorical Analysis Score 9

okay so I am excited today to feature a student essay because this made a nine and this is by my student this year and I’m in the year 2016 27 2017 but my student this year but Varanasi Dube and one of my favorite memories of our own Ali is that she was consistently making aids to my class but she wasn’t satisfied with aids her thing was how can I make a nine and she came up and asked me that and I honestly didn’t feel like I could give her an adequate response because it’s really hard to explain what it takes to make it nine so that’s one thing I’ve been kind of working on this year what’s the difference between an eight and a nine how can you bump an eight to a nine so I did have a discussion with bar Nelly about that and magically it did work she started going to nines and she has consistently made nines she’s probably made more nines than any student I’ve ever taught so she’s consistently taken the aides to the nines which to me is a truly amazing thing so she’s a definitely a gifted thinker and writer that’s why I’m calling her a student expert and I would like to feature her essay today now you’ve already seen an eighth version of this which I wrote I want to show you what Baron Ollie did because I think a lot of you are going to be able to do this with the right kind of practice and some of you have already used extensively fours in your writing but the thing is even if something is an extended metaphor if it’s in that 1/8 it’s probably not really extended to any great lengths like it’s in part of your paper but it’s not in the whole paper what barnali has done here is she has wrapped her entire paper from beginning to end in this extended metaphor she does break some rules here and I’m going to point out the rules that she breaks but remember a sophisticated writer has earned the right to break some rules the way that you become respected for breaking the rules rather than reprimanded for breaking the rules is you do so in an artful way and I think you’ll see that barnali has definitely made those she’s definitely broken those rules in a masterful way so we can pat her on the back rather than put her down so here we go despite their relentless misguided assertion that they are the stronger sex men are actually very weak they don’t bear children their bodies don’t mount a full-out assault against them each month and most importantly they are not the ones that have to suffer beneath the agonising yoke of the patriarchy even though these are the facts of life women and our wonderful wisdom are burdened with pacifying the babies we’ve been placed on earth with okay in her hook she’s already so smoothly set up this metaphor now the other thing that I want you to notice about this metaphor is that she’s broken a rule I told you that for rhetorical analysis you should strictly stay in third person but you see here she’s using the Royal we but she’s doing it for effect so what I’m going to tell you is I want to see third person until we’ve made an agreement that you’re trying for that nine and you have earned the right to try for that nine she’s earned that right I definitely earned that right so she’s using it for artful effect here and it does work very well the other rule that barnali is breaking is she’s got this kind of condescending tone where she’s made this very strong assertion that women are actually the stronger Saxon and normally I would say okay we want to be you know gentle and kind we want to look at the opposition and all that kind of stuff but this first of all is not a synthesis and it’s not an argument ation um secondly she does this so well that again she gets away with it it’s unique and you usually can’t carry off this kind of tone unless you’re really good so she is really good so she’s able to do it English poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning swaddles are Napoleon La Petite I really like those words together because notice how she’s extending that metaphor the word swaddles is so good and then she’s really playing up that pun which she has turned into a pun because that means Napoleon is small so it’s really easy to compare him to a baby in her letter asking him to part in French writer Victor Hugo Napoleon La Petite exiled you go from the sandbox because Hugo refused to play the right way using flattery and imagery browning convinces Napoleon the small to stop throwing his tantrum and invite Hugo to play again because babies love shiny things Browning flashes these glittering words in front of Napoleon to occupy him look at how deathly she describes flattery she keeps extending that metaphor now applying it to like little flashy things that mothers flash in front of their babies the she twirls words like ah sire you are great enough and you can allow for the peculiarity of the poetical temperament before his eyes broaden goes on to ask him to disprove him by your generosity skillfully including another lustrous compliment in her petition Napoleon’s juvenile preoccupation with the ethereal niceties running a showering on him causes him to think that an action is inspired by him Brennan gives fresh meaning to the idiom all that glitters is not gold because although everything she is writing is dazzling she doesn’t truly mean any of it children are not able to detect sarcasm and effectively until age 8 so Napoleon Leppa teat still has a way to go so I hope you see the risk there she’s taking a basic psychological fact and she’s being bold in that she’s applying it to Napoleon lip petite like he is a child lower than 8 but basically what she’s really saying there is that even though Napoleon La Petite is an adult person he doesn’t have the mentality even of an eight-year-old dealing with infants can be very tiring and a surefire way to occupy them is to place him in front of moving pictures again look at how she works imagery in there it’s so smart browning employs is very visual tactic against our minuscule monarch I really love that alliteration there and how she’s using such good word choices she shows him that let no tear of an admirer a poetry drop upon your purple to establish that this issue is not even worse oiling his divine robe over she goes on to say and I am driven by an irresistible impulse to your Majesty’s feet browning asserts that even the most undesirable part of a person becomes a magnet because it belongs to Napoleon she knows that babies need this kind of attention the reason why one of the first things a baby can do is cry is because the baby needs to draw attention to himself since his communication is seriously lacking it’s only after hard-working years of development that we are able to understand what babies are saying pacifying children is not easy look at that incredible transition it again extends the metaphor and now we’re at the conclusion but using flattery and pretty pictures browning makes light work of it she tells Napoleon Leppa T what a good boy he is and lets him watch his favorite show the everlasting Emperor now notice how she just makes up a name of a show but that’s basically the impact these images would have a Napoleon not only does founding display mad streon writing but also an extensive understanding of child-rearing the fact that browning has to diminish her characteristics to get through to him shows that it doesn’t always promote development to speak plainly to a child I can say his hats off she’s done a great job and hopefully you see that really cool technique that she used and if you’re ready for it I would love to see some of you experiment with that technique Thanks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *